instagram meet-up

Back in December I had the opportunity to meet a friend from online…Instagram, actually… and it was one of those occasions when you feel like you've known someone all your life, rather than just less than a year. I don't know if you've had an experience like that, but it was pretty cool. And honestly, I don't know if this particular connection was felt more strongly because of our mutual love for all things Down syndrome, or because we share similar experiences (babies late in life, etc.) but meeting my friend Kelly from IG was just like I thought it would be - we laughed, we cried, and we vowed to make it all happen again soon.

Kelly's daughter, Nora, shares Lily's extra chromosome. She also shares : her love for dancing, her spunky personality, her passion for shopping and tea (see photos below) and her taste in fashion.

While Kelly and I embraced immediately, it took our shy girls just a tad longer to warm up to each other. In just a few minutes though, they were sharing shopping secrets and posing for photo shoots together like long lost sisters…

We met each other at AC Gilbert's Discovery Village in Salem ... this quaint children's museum was the perfect place for the kids to play and have fun while Mackenzie and Kelly and I chatted away. Kelly's kind husband got us a group rate (their boys and Abigail brought our total up to ten) and we joked that he and Sam would hit it off in real life as well… (anyone who knows my husband is familiar with his uncanny ability to never pay full price for anything. "I've got eleven kids here, what kinda deal can ya swing me??")

Lily comparing coupons with Nora

We moved through the museum slowly and leisurely, taking pictures and discussing everything from birth stories to mutual IG friends to our faith in Jesus - it was such a treat to talk to another mom in real life who went through a (somewhat) surprise diagnosis for Down syndrome. Although we both fell head over heels in love with our girls the moment they were placed in our arms, it took time for us to reconcile those feelings with worries that can accompany a diagnosis of special needs. We talked about how very normal things are today, and how we wished we could have known then what we know now.

 In spite of all the similarities between Kelly and I, we quickly realized how different our girls are. Lily is shy and very clingy, whereas Nora is outgoing and vocal and very independent. It was so interesting to watch these two little pixies together, with all their differences - Nora took center stage in the puppet show room, dancing and singing for all of us to enjoy, while Lily watched quietly from the sidelines. Lily primped and posed for photos, while Nora determinedly played the photographer, snapping and editing photos like a seasoned pro.

editing for Instagram

I was so thankful to have Mackenzie there to capture these moments on her camera - I could have talked for five more days with Kelly and still not gotten my fill.

One of my favorite rooms at AC Gilbert's is the "China"room. Our girls had so much fun pouring make-believe-tea and pretending to sip their soup from tiny bowls. Nora was the more spiritual of the two, saying grace before their meal, while Lily just slurped her soup noisily across the table.

The afternoon ended too soon, with Kelly and I making plans to get the rest of our families together in the future… she and her husband live just one state over, and we promised each other a longer visit the next time they come to Oregon.

Kelly, if you're reading - thank you for a lovely day of sweet conversation and friendship.

We're looking forward to many more moments like these in the days to come :)

Continue reading

New Born Baby

coming soon

Hey, guess what ? I was just going through old pics in lightroom (editing software) and I found THE CUTEST photos, that I never had time to blog about. I mean THE CUTEST.

But I don't have time to blog about them tonight either, because Hayden was up crying the entire night last night, and I am going to bed now. And I'm praying we don't do a repeat of last night.

Apparently I didn't have a lingering sinus infection last week, I had the flu. Or some other nasty virus.
Because now Hayden has it, and he looks like I felt - only he gets to scream about it all night, whereas all I could do was wake Sam up 45 times throughout the night to tell him I "was dying" and could he "please get me tylenol, water and a back rub in that order, stat."

"It's almost morning and who is going to rub my legs and back when you go to work??" was what I told him last week.  He was laughing, but I wasn't kidding.

And poor little Hayden- I'm pretty sure that's what his pathetic crying all night could have been translated as - "Who is going to pace the floors with me if you guys fall asleep ? WAAAAHHHH!"


Anyhoot….I'm beat. So you don't get a post, you get a tease to a post.

Here it is….

See what I mean ???

Cuteness, coming soon….

Continue reading

New Born Baby

mommy guilt, and how to cure it

It's Saturday … I'm on day four of antibiotics for a nasty sinus infection that has been lingering since Thanksgiving, and I am sloooowly starting to feel better.

I spent Lily's birthday, for the most part, in bed. I haven't been that sick in a long time, and I hope I don't get that sick again any time soon. Note to self: go to the doctor after something has been lingering for two weeks, not two months. Thank you. You're welcome.

Okay, self-talk aside…I just got the pics from Lily's birthday party off the camera and I want to cry.

Not because they were terrible - to the contrary.

It was perhaps THE simplest little party that was ever thrown for a four year old. I had some bigger plans…maybe a small dinner for friends and a themed cake, etc…but I might have ended up in the hospital if I put forth the effort to make that happen. The pre-holiday rush to get everything done, combined with Christmas itself, and then followed up by a move two days later (I kid you not- we did not have one box packed the day after Christmas, and somehow evacuated our house the next day) …ANYHOOT - all of that, on top of an already run down mama trying to ignore a sinus infection….well, it all came crashing down on me the day before Lily's birthday.

More accurately, it all came crashing down on me in the car, as Sam was driving me to the doctor. I was having a major attack of mommy guilt, and the result was a flood of tears and a sobbing confession that went something like this : "I feel like such a failure as a mom because of the sucky party I'm going to throw for Lily tomorrow and I don't even know how I'm going to make her a sucky cake let alone throw a sucky party and …….."  

You get the drift.

My daughter-in-love and her sister threw their sons the most amazing birthday party last summer. Everything was themed, right down to the vegetable tray, decorated like Elmo. One of my best friends makes the most amazing cakes for every child's birthday - a castle, a football field, a revolving merry-go-round… (okay, I jest. Almost.) Two years ago I did a pink and green themed party for Lily and coordinated her outfit to match the party- I even hot glue gunned hair bows for her with pink and green curlie-cues to match the ribbons on the tables.


And admittedly- I LOVE doing things like that. I love when my creative juices are flowing, I love how it feels to watch everything come together, and to see the excitement on my kids' faces when it does. I do love being that kind of mom.

And thus the tears.

Sam - my ever-encouraging optimist of a husband - reached across the car, put his tender hand on my knee, and smiled. "Relax, Mama. Lily is not going to know any different. She is happy, she is loved, and she does not care what kind of party you are or aren't giving her."


Which made sense, and did encourage me, and for a little while it stopped the tears.


We visited my doctor, got a prescription for antibiotics, hit the pharmacy, and raced home for a quick dinner of pizza. Sam took the children to church, and Lily and Hayden and I remained at home. I wanted to be in bed, but Hayden wasn't in the mood to snuggle peacefully beside me, and neither was Lily. So I made a feeble attempt at wrapping one of her presents for the next day, but Hayden (teething) screamed pitifully when I tried to leave the room in search of wrapping paper and tape.


At this point, all the mommy guilt that had been assaulting me in the car before, decided to come back with a vengeance - am I the only one who always feels a little bit oppressed when I'm battling sickness ? It's like I can't just be sick, I have to feel guilty on top of feeling cruddy, because I am not able to do all the typical things I do as a mom (make dinner, get kids to church, wrap birthday presents, throw parties….)


So what's a mama to do ? When she's stuck in bed or on the couch, and everything in her is screaming you're a loser and your poor kids are all suffering because of it, when she looks at her pathetic plan for her almost-four-year-old's big day less than 24 hours away and wants to cry, and yet she doesn't even have an ounce of energy to change one thing about that plan….what's a mama to do ?



I'll tell you what I did.



I took my husband's advice.



Relax.


That's what I did.

re·lax

riˈlaks/

verb

1. 1.

   make or become less tense or anxious.

   "he relaxed and smiled confidently"

   synonyms:

   become less tense, loosen, slacken, unknot
2. 2.

   make (a rule or restriction) less strict while not abolishing it.

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

I am very prone to anxiety. I've blogged about it here many times but anxiety and I can be best friends if I'm not careful. We get each other. Anxiety and I are so well acquainted, that often times I can't tell his voice from mine. His best friend guilt does the same thing to me. And if you're anything like me, when these voices start speaking their ugly lies to me - everything gets tainted. My view of my life, my view of the future, my views about the people around me - everything is skewed. And I have a hard time living in reality. Because I am too consumed with how I am just not measuring up, and I am too upset about what everyone thinks about me (because don't you know, everyone just spends all their time thinking about ME, right ? How I'm such a loser mom, etc. etc.) and that starts to bleed out into the rest of my life.


But that little word up there ?? The one I stole from good ole Webster to make my point ? It changes everything.

Relax.


And did you notice it's a verb ? Which means it's an action word. It's not a noun - in other words, it's not something that I am. It's something I have to DO.


Relax.



Chill.



Or as my kids like to say…


Chillax.




I have to personally take responsibility for the barrage of guilt and angst and negativity warring against my soul and turn.it.OFF.


I like what Peter has to say about this:


Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7



Him - meaning God.


Isn't that simple ??


I like simple. I'm a pretty simple gal. And when I'm sick and worn down, and I really don't have the brain power to get all theological, I just need simple.



Chillax. Cast my anxiety on God- give it Him and leave it there.


Simple.



So I did- I prayed and asked God to help me feel better soon, to help me to stop feeling guilty about everything, and to help me to be the best mom that I could be, given my current condition.


And here's what we got as a result….

… Tyler wrapped Lily's birthday presents, Caleb and Abigail made cupcakes, Monique and Naomi came over to celebrate, and Lily was as happy as could be. I stayed on the couch, wrapped up in a warm blanket, Mackenzie took pictures, Koa opened Lily's gifts (at HER request - she smiled shyly every time Daddy handed her a present and handed it to Koa) …

…and somehow the world didn't end.


We sang Happy Birthday To You, we helped Lily blow out her candle, we ate funfetti cupcakes with bubblegum frosting, and we called it a night.

And maybe next year I will throw a wonderful, this-is-how-I-want-to-do-every-party kind of party for my girl. I am already dreaming of how fun it will be do so, and I know Lily will be that much older to enjoy everything just a little bit more.


But going back to the beginning of the post - I just uploaded the party pictures for this post and I wanted to cry. Because although they are devoid of any party decorations, elaborate cake, hoopla, or what-have-you - they are oozing with love.  The look in Sam's eyes as Lily shares a secret with him…the smile on Lily's face as she watches Koa open her presents for her…the joy in Koa's expression as he happily complies with her request to do so…even little Norah's look of wonder, as she watches those she loves around her… There is so much love and joy in these pictures, it makes me cry.

baby Macie in Monique's, belly, and Norah

Don't get me wrong- I love our big and special and detailed festivities too - but I'm grateful for these special moments, stripped of any hint of glamor, that are only decorated in love.

**************


The winner of the necklace from Annie's Nest Designs is…

 Diane Saucedo said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS!!! And many more...Mom you are blessed to have a wonderful family and a great husband. God bless

Diane, congratulations ! Please email me at psalms127.5@gmail.com to pre-order your custom necklace!

Lots of love,
Patti

Continue reading

New Born Baby

our perfect Lily … and a birthday giveaway

Today is a beautiful day.


Today we celebrate the birth of a little princess who rocked our world four years ago, when she made her grand entrance onto the stage called life…

When I look back on that day I see a lot of things.

I see a daddy who looked at his girl as soon as she was delivered - she was still in the hands of her oldest sister - and he saw beauty.

He didn't see "different", he didn't see a syndrome, or anything lacking - he saw beauty.

I still remember hearing his love-filled voice, proclaiming for everyone in that room to hear :
She's looking all around ! Oh, her eyes are wide open !!

There was so much pride in his voice, so much excitement and emotion and love.

I knew from his voice she was beautiful.

And four years later, things are pretty much just like that day.

Eyes wide open, she is looking all around her….

being sung to…happy birthday, dear Lily !

…she knows she is beautiful, and she knows she is loved.

When I look back on that day, I see a mama who was so in love with her little birdie that she didn't want to let her go.

I see a roomful of friends and family who joined hands and prayed and thanked God for the gift we'd been given.

I see my oldest son Jason, leading us in that prayer, as Lily was whisked away to the NICU with her daddy. His voice was so strong and so confident. He thanked God for giving us Lily, and he asked for the peace of God to fill up that room. He asked God to heal our baby and give the doctors wisdom for her. We cried together while he prayed, and maybe we didn't completely understand what a gift we'd been given…a good and perfect gift.



But we do now.



Oh, do we understand today….

Happy, happy fourth birthday to our beautiful, our amazing, our incredible Lily Anne.

Our perfect Lily.

xo


*****************


In honor of our girl's birthday, we want to bless our readers back for so lovingly supporting us these past four years.

My amazing daughter-in-love makes these gorgeous necklaces in her Etsy shop, Annie's Nest Designs.

Right now her shop is closed, as she just filled dozens of orders for Christmas. She is waiting on her suppliers to open her shop again, which should happen around Valentine's Day. She's taking some pre-orders on her Instagram account @omigrace24, but we want to give away one necklace here today for Lily's birthday.

Please leave a comment on this post to be entered to win one of these special necklaces - the winner may pre-order a necklace of their choosing (amount of eggs in the nest, style, etc.) and Naomi will ship it out as soon as her store is restocked.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind words over the years- you are the best.

Much love,

Patti and Lily
xoxo

Continue reading

New Born Baby

better late than never

December was a great month. It truly was. I got everything done that I needed to (I think…) except mailing my sister's Christmas gifts (they are wrapped and sitting safely in a box…somewhere in my garage…sorry, Hope !!)…and giving out Christmas cards.

Somewhere around December 24th, when we got the news about our house, and the subsequent move two days later, I decided that New Years pictures are more my kind of thang.

SO many reasons for this switch from Christmas cards besides an impending move…


1) Yesterday was the very first day in over a month that I could safely coordinate 17 people's schedules and get us all in our house at the same time for a photo. This was truly a monumental task.

2) I literally eliminated all Christmas-card-related-stress, thereby removing one half of my holiday angst with this little decision to do New Years cards. I may have added a new kind of frazzlement to the first week in January, but I think it coincides well with our resolutions…to speak kindly to each other, to get along, to remember that we are Christians when gathering together in one accord to take a family photo…

…okay, maybe we all fell off the resolution bandwagon yesterday, but a few teary discussions in the bedroom afterwards, and several apologies and hugs later, we are all friends again. And still married. And that is a really good thing, when you are sending out family New Years cards…unless you want to tack on a P.S. We got divorced halfway through this photo to your card. Which I didn't really have the space for. So we made up.


ANYHOOT….

3) Everyone will really look at our card when it arrives, and it won't get lost in the avalanche of Christmas cards landing in their mailboxes during December. At least I hope so. Otherwise, it will make a great dartboard for those of you who want to take out your post-holiday stress on our family voodoo style…or perhaps friends can use the back to scribble their weekly shopping list on if they've recently moved and can't find a spare piece of paper to save their life. Not that I would know….



So for those of you who won't actually get one of these in the mail (have you noticed the price of stamps has risen exponentially in the past five years?? ) please consider this my very belated Christmas card… or my very punctual New Years card… or your own personal dartboard or...  whatever you choose to view it as…  to you.

Happy 2014 !

Continue reading

New Born Baby

goodbye...

…Rice Ranch….

…hello, Rice Lodge…

We're moving TOMORROW. Eeeeek !!! I'll post more pics later, as we are in a state of chaos at the moment. For now, here is a sneak peek….

…so excited !!

Merry day after Christmas :)

Continue reading

New Born Baby

warning: graphic videos posted

Can you believe it's two days until CHRISTMAS ???! I'm soooooo excited !!

Jason and Naomi hosted an Ugly Sweater Party on Saturday.

We all "walked the runway" to music and voted on who had the ugliest sweater. Things may have digressed into a dance competition….

I'm posting the videos, but be warned: they are a bit graphic.

You may never view our family the same again.

Cast your vote !!

Continue reading

New Born Baby